Fair Weather Frenzy: the 2010 World Cup

Today, the United States was defeated by Ghana in the elimination round of the 2010 World Cup. All I can say is “Thank God.”

The fact that I am not a soccer fan does not play any part of my opinion of the average American soccer fan. I have ADD which gives me the super power of being able to tune out anything I want and completely forgetting what I have been talk… Oh, look a tree.

The aggravating part about the average American soccer fan is how fair weather he/she is. For one month every four years they are soccer aficionados, claiming to know all about the sport and love it with a passion. That would be fine and dandy, if they actually were soccer aficionados and did love the sport with a passion.

Here’s a few brain teaser to test any friend to see if they are really a soccer fan;

Question One: Who won the last World Cup?
This might not be the hardest question (I even know the answer to this one) but considering that the average American sports fan has the attention span of a dust mite, it will wean out those who really don’t know shit about soccer.

Question Two: Who won the MLS Cup?
I don’t know if that is the actual name of the MLS championship game but I’m taking a guess at it. If the person corrects you and tells you that it is called something else, he or she is probably right and you might as well not wait for their actual answer.

Question Three: Who won the European Cup?
Like Question Two, I don’t know the name of Europe’s soccer championship. I think they have like five a year so I’m just going to go with that.

Question Four: Name five MLS teams.
This might be the stumping question. Many soccer fans don’t follow American soccer because it is not the best that the world has to offer (hint: anyone that has called you un-patriotic for not cheering for Team USA in the World Cup can suck on this one).

Question Five: What the hell does Real mean or FC stand for?
FC is pretty obvious, but I still don’t know what Real means. Yes, a good journalist finds that out for himself. But I have better things to do with my time like breathing, farting and World of Warcraft.

So to all the real soccer fans out there, I have no problem with you. Nobody should tell you what you can or cannot like.

My problem is with the ignorant people who claim to love soccer, and the second that the World Cup is over or Team USA is eliminated, they don’t give a damn about it anymore.

If so many Americans love soccer so much, then why is the MLS struggling so badly in attendance and financially? Why don’t they and all of their soccer fanatics go to the games?

Want to know why? It’s because they are all fair-weather fans. When it’s cool to like soccer, they love it. But once something shinier pops up, the biggest question once again will be “Who the hell is Landon Donovan?”