OK, Brett Favre, if you say you want to stay retired, then stay retired.
I am so sick of hearing a new Brett Favre report everyday on ESPN. And the worst part about that damn network is that all of their radio personalities, like Scott Van Pelt and Collin Cowherd, all say that they’re sick of it too. Here’s the problem; they say it everyday which means they’re just as bad as the station they work for!
I don’t blame them though. If it bleeds it leads, right? Well Brett Favre is bleeding all of the fun and excitement out of football news. Hell, out of all sports news.
Manny Ramirez’s positive drug test couldn’t even silence Favre. I actually have a theory that because Manny stole the spotlight for a day when Favre said he “wanted to stay retired,” that suddenly the attention whore began to change his mind again. “Oh no, they’ll forget about me!” Cry me a river.
So here’s what you should do Baby Brett, you fuck-head. Just unretired and join the Minnesota Vikings. We all know you want to. The more you deny it the dumber you look. And believe me, you look pretty dumb already.
No, this will not affect Favre’s admission into the Hall of Fame. No, when people think about Brett Favre 10 years from now they will still think of the three time MVP and Super Bowl winner, not the old grumpy guy who can’t make a decision. But did you ever hear the word “saga” after the names Marino, Elway, or Montana? I doubt we’ll hear it post Manning or Brady.
However, I know that it’s hard to imagine an NFL with no Brett Favre at all. But Favre doesn’t have to play to be involved with the sport.
Why not look at broadcasting? A lot of great football players have gone on to become analysts and commentators. John Madden retired (and unlike Favre, he will probably stay retired), so why not look into taking his job? ESPN would probably jizz their pants if you offered to work for them. Look at the quarterbacks that work for them! Trent Dilfer, Tim Hasselbeck, Sean Salisbury (did he get fired or something?), Favre is more qualified than all three of them!
How about coaching? C’mon Baby, you know football. Become a quarterbacks coach. Hell, I bet even the Packers might give you a shot at that. And if you’re as close with Aaron Rodgers as you claim, I’m sure he would love to have you mentor him.
Maybe Favre sits on these decisions because teams want him to participate in off-season workouts and training camps. We all know Favre hates these. He hasn’t participated in them in years. Ironically, those are the years where he has struggled most. And the scary part is that each year he has broken down more and more towards the end of the season. I don’t think Baby’s body can handle a full season with all the off-season programs, and I think he knows it too.
But guess what? The Vikings will still take him even if he decides after all of the programs. Why? Because they think that Baby is still an upgrade over what they have.
And because of that, it’s going to be August before we can see a Favre-free Sportscenter.
