I Still Don't Care

The 2010 Winter Olympics have created a huge buzz about the sport of Hockey. Unfortunately, it’s still hockey.

So I have never been a big hockey fan. I grew up in Cleveland, which is a football city (even though in the 90s it focused on the surging Indians in the absence of the Browns and King James has given the Cavs a huge boost). Not far away are Pittsburgh and Detroit, two of the biggest hockey markets in the country. But, I still don’t care.

I remember a few years ago I tried watching the world cup. My roommate and a fraternity brother of mine were into soccer and I figured I’d at least give a shot at watching it. Ten minutes later I regretted the decision and gave up.

Before I go any further I have to admit that I did not watch any Olympic hockey until the gold medal game. If you’re wondering why, it’s because I just don’t like hockey.

“But Olympic hockey is better,” people would tell me, including my Canadian cousins.

So for the final game I figured, what the hell? I’ll give it a shot. I’m trying to be a sports writer, might as well try to watch a new sport.
I had heard all of the hype surrounding the US team and goalie Ryan Miller. That nobody could score on him and just how fast the team was.

OK, so I don’t know if maybe they were slower that day or if the Canadians are just as fast, but I really did not see this speed of the game that people were talking about. I just saw bulky looking dudes with sticks on ice going after a little black dot.

It was still super boring.

Yes, I did get excited when (some player whose name I don’t remember off the top of my head) scored in the final seconds to tie it up and send the game to overtime. Call me un-patriotic, but after three periods of boredom leading up to that, I was kind of hoping the game would just end already.
But into overtime we go…

Now, I don’t know all the rules to Olympic hockey, and NBC did no service during the 15 plus minutes between the end of regulation and overtime to explain anything useful. By the way, that intermission is too long. Even the broadcasters were questioning if such a long break would affect momentum. Unfortunately, the only thing I know about hockey momentum has to do with friction and ice (that’s a science joke, people).

And just as quick as it began, it was over when Sidney Crosby scored the game winning goal on Ryan Miller.

Did I cry? Did I moan? No, I just turned to my computer and went back to chatting on facebook.

So, what did I learn? That hockey is the colder, less flamboyant, drunken, Canadian cousin of soccer. Just as boring, but with less teeth and on ice. Come on guys, get some god damn teeth? You want to be taken seriously? It’s difficult when you smile and all we see is gum.

Oh, and I love how NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and the owners are considering baring their players from participating in the 2014 Olympics. Are they dumb or just plain retarded? While this definitely has made a buzz for hockey, in about a week Americans will remember just how bored they are.

You can put NHL, Olympic, or even Super Duper Fun Filled Amazing in front of it, but it’s still hockey, and I’m still bored.