God Hates Cleveland

What the hell does Cleveland have to do to win a championship?

At this point, it’s not even the fact that the city hasn’t won a professional sports championship since 1964. It’s not the fact that the teams underachieve. Right now, it’s the fact that out damn rivals win championships while we wallow and suffer that really pisses me off.

True, I’m writing this the night after the Steelers won Super Bowl XLIII. And for anyone who is saying the 27-23 win over the Cardinals the greatest Super Bowl in history, I say shut the hell up. It can’t be the best game if the Steelers win. Period.

Being a Cleveland fan is pretty hard and last night was just another reminder of that. It’s like every few years some divine being/s is/are reminding the fans that we are not in his/her/their favor.

Football is the worst of them all too. First off, the Steelers have won two Super Bowls in the past four years. I pray that’s not the foundation for a dynasty. To add insult to injury, they now have the most Super Bowl wins in NFL history. They’re probably the rival that Cleveland fans hate most. Not to mention the Browns haven’t beat them since 2003.

And if I’m talking about football, I can’t forget mentioning the Ravens. The worst thing about the Ravens is that they won a Super Bowl three years after relocating. They should have been the Browns. That could have been us.

You can’t talk about rivals winning without talking about the Chicago White Sox. In 2005, the Indians lost the division in the last three games to them. Then, they beat the Angels in the ALCS on one of the dumbest calls I have ever seen. If you signal strike, it’s a damn strike. If that’s not proof that someone hates us, I don’t know what is.

And of course, there’s the Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls. Now I know that the Bulls haven’t had much success since Michael left, but their dominance in the 90’s always got to Cavs fans. I remember early in that decade when the Cavs had Mark Price, Larry Nance, and Brad Daugherty. All great players. Yet they still could never get past the Bulls.

I’m honestly not as fired up about the Pistons. Don’t get me wrong, I hate them. I was not really happy that they won the NBA Championship in 2004, even though they were playing the Lakers. It’s probably because they play in the same city as the Lions that puts a small smile on my face.

I’m not a religious person. Miracles and testaments do nothing for me. Oddly enough, it seems that every time I see a team I despise celebrate a championship that I start to think that someone is looking down at me, and every other Cleveland fan, reminding us that we aren’t supposed to win anything.